Immoderate Me

Ha ha ha - you’ve got to laugh!! The wine witch came visiting, and I listened - my mind conjouring up pictures of a lovely evening eating drinking and making merry. I wobbled and had an internal struggle until my husband called saying “I’m going to have a few tonight are you?”. Well, naturally I said ‘yes’ however I had a strong niggling belief that I actually didn’t want to, I even told him to buy red, as that is his wine if choice, so if I CHOSE not to drink it it wouldn’t go to waste! I arrived home, I had decided categorically that I would not drink.  I saw the husbands large glass of red glinting at me - clearly in cahoots with the wine witch and still I thought “NO!!!!” Just to be on the safe side I headed to the fridge for a AF Becks Blue, cracked it open and took a long and very enjoyable swig.  Put the bottle down and realised I had, in total innocence and with no intention, picked up a delicious Peroni!! I am going to finish the bottle. Watch this space.

Firstly I would like to say that I am hoping to come up with some slightly more imaginative titles as I progress!! I made it through the evening with one Becks Blue - which I moderately enjoyed (check me out who knew I could get moderate at anything?!).  I went to bed and slept moderately well (‘I might have to rethink my name) and woke up feeling content and that contentment grow to a low level euphoria, which is still bubbling away! None of this is that unusual, I frequently go at least 1 or 2 days a week without a drink and each time it’s the same, I wake up clear headed and happy and remind myself throughout the day how lovely it is and then .... we’ll as you will all know THE WINE WITCH COMES KNOCKING!!! Collecting the kids from school seems to be an almost open invitation to her and then my thoughts turn  to after bedtime (which often starts a good half an hour before bedtime) and then dinner where the wine witch just assumes she is welcome - oh fish tonight a love...

I have recently started reading ‘The Sober Diaries’ (well I read it for a bit on Sunday) and there was a lot of it that really resonated with me and it has definitely inspired me. I did however, manage to drink almost 2 bottles of wine last night. I had woken up feeling positive, that today might really be the day that I stopped drinking... for a little while at least!  However at the usual ‘witching hour’ My mind started convincing me that, in fact, one final furores was in order! The husband was away over night and I could drink without fear of rebuke and comments and so I did!! I awoke on the sofa at about 1.30am fuggy headed and took myself off to bed. Remarkably I didn’t feel too bad this morning but with the sun shining I decided to take the positive decision that today is the day!!! I have started this blog for a few reasons, firstly to make a commitment to my cause, secondly because I am hoping the strength and experience of others will keep me on the straight and...